Things I have learnt in 19 years
I recently turned 19 (in December) and I just wanted to document a little on how it feels or at least part of the journey on growing older. This is a little reflection on what I have learnt over the years and this will of course inevitably grow as I get older.
1) You don't need to worry so much about the future. I still do sometimes worry, I can’t claim I don't ever, but I don’t nearly as much as I used to. I have learnt that in due time and in the moment, you will be better placed to make a decision - you will have more experience and other opportunities that you didn’t have before.
2) You are always learning about your surroundings and yourself. Even people you feel you have known for a very long time - there will be certain sides to them you did not know before. When it comes to yourself, it is also a journey and you are always discovering new aspects about yourself as you experience new things.
3) Experiences and memories are really the most beautiful parts of life. We live in a materialistic society where we are taught that more material goods will make you happy. That especially seems to be a running theme at Christmas where there is always the talk about what presents you have asked for etc. But when I think of my happiest moments, it is not an item I was given as a present, it is always something I’ve lived and experienced, usually with loved ones.
4) Taking small steps is the way to go. Trying to magically transform something does not usually work and breaking it down makes it manageable and helps you get where you want to be.
5) Having it all together all the time is a myth- most people just try and act like they do. Even the person you admire most sometimes gets it wrong.
6) There is beauty in being vulnerable - that is where you can connect with people in a different way. We all struggle and have difficult moments - there is real strength in sharing and being honest about the moments which are not so great.
7) You can be who you want to be - not everyone knows every single part of you. That doesn’t mean it isn't a part of who you are. Not everyone will expect you to go down a certain path - that doesn't mean you can't take that route. You don’t have to conform to certain labels.
8) Everything happens for a reason - maybe you don’t know why now, but it will make sense in the future. I don’t believe in fate - I think you do have control of some of the things that happen to you, but I feel there is something else out there that means that sometimes when it doesn't go to plan, it is because it was not meant to happen.
9) Life sometimes is a lot simpler than we make it out to be- it’s really easy to get caught up in trivial matters and forget that it doesn’t have to be so complicated.
10) You are honestly so much stronger than you give yourself credit for and can achieve so much more than you think you can.
11) People’s opinion of you and what people say of you reflects so much more about them as people than you as a person.
12) It really is the little things in life that make such a big difference - checking up on someone, smiling at someone.
13) A lot in life is just stepping stones and everything is temporary. Yes, it feels like it is so important now, but in the grand scheme, it won't be. Certain events in your life are not as deciding as certain people will lead you to believe.
14) At the end of the day, how you feel about something and your wellbeing is very important. It is not selfish to look after yourself and also do things for you.
15) Happiness is an ideal and you will not always feel that way and that is normal. It is OK to cry - crying is too often seen as a weakness when actually it makes you human. Crying is a form of releasing feelings when your body doesn’t know how else to express them- embrace it and let yourself feel more free and relieved after it.
16) You can’t control other people’s actions and reactions so focus on your own.
17) Show others you care and cherish each moment - you might never get that moment again.
18) At the end of the day we only regret the chances we didn’t take- even if it goes wrong, at least you will learn something from it. It is so much better to try and fail than sit and think what if…
19) There is beauty in being you. When I was younger I used to want to be like other people so much- looks-wise and personality-wise. But finding yourself, what makes you unique- that is so much more special than being a copy of someone else who you’ll never quite be because it isn’t who you are.
Help keep me going 🙂
