I am not really sure what to make of 2021. This year honestly felt like the second part of 2020 and was hard. My 2021 was two halves. The first half was restrictions - lockdowns and very few places open. It was this half, where I almost lost all sense of myself, being mainly in my room. Then there was the second half, where things started opening up again and I was able to feel a little more like myself being able to get involved in more. Either way, 2021 taught me a lot.
1) No one is wholly good or bad. People are flawed and humans and relationships sometimes can feel messy. Sometimes realising other people's flaws or what they may have done can be hard, but ultimately none of us are perfect and forgiving people is important. We are also not perfect after all.
2) It is never too late to try something or do something. We are all on different paths and it matters more that you try than do nothing at all.
3) There is always a way. More things are possible than you imagine if you are willing enough to keep going. A lot of the time when we are faced with less than ideal circumstances, it can be easy to convince ourselves that things are no longer possible. It is no longer doable. I really thought this year that I wouldn't be able to meet deadlines or manage exams due to everything I had going on. I had more than enough reasons to fail. However, I told myself I did not want to let it be the thing that stopped me or what defined me. Carrying on and not giving up even when things were really not looking good highlighted to me that things are still possible even in the worst of situations if you can manage to see that it does not have to limit you. Although you will have to work harder, and probably a lot harder than others not in your situation, another way is still possible.
4) Boundaries are really important and you should not keep making excuses for people that do not respect them. Throughout the first half of 2021, I found myself more forgiving of people who did not always respect boundaries, always making excuses for the fact they did not. Whether it be that they had a lot going on or not doing well mentally. Whilst being mindful of others is good, boundaries are important for your wellbeing and no matter what someone is going through, it is not okay for someone not to respect your boundaries.
5) You should not over adapt and go the extra mile constantly for someone if they can’t be bothered to do even the bare minimum. Those people are not worth your time and if they can still find problems, it is theirs to deal with, not yours.
6) Don’t let others try and make choices for you. You are the person in charge of your own life. In the same way you should respect other people's choices, people need to respect yours especially because you will be the one living the consequences of those choices.
7) Other people’s mental health is never more important than your own even if objectively it seems that they are in a worse place. There is a difference between urgency and importance. Putting your own mental health second because someone else appears to be doing a lot worse only screws you over more in the long run and potentially the people you are trying to help. You cannot support others as well if you don’t feel okay yourself.
8) It is important to tell other people about your needs. I have always been a bit embarrassed to tell others upfront what I need and to be honest this is still a working progress for me. Suffering from worse anxiety this year forced me to realise and be incredibly transparent with people about needs in given situations - whether that be me needing air, to take things slower, to take my mask off, or time out.
9) The sun will always rise no matter what has happened. I have had some really challenging mental health days this year. Days where it felt like I had a huge cloud over my vision and I couldn’t see anything clearly - how I would get out of difficulty or whether the pain I felt would end. But, no matter how dark things get, or how screwed up life can get, the world keeps spinning. There will always be a morning after. That is my reminder that no matter how hard it gets, there is always a way out, in the same way the sun will always rise the next morning no matter how awful the storm the night before is.
10) Some people are incredibly fake and ingenuine. It can be surprising at how much effort they will put into trying to be your friend to only talk behind your back a moment later or try and screw you over to benefit themselves. However, that is okay. Just part of the range of people you come across in life. Acknowledging you are simply completely different people, on different paths and distancing yourself is alright.
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